Archives For Depression and Insecurity

You can listen to Noah Filipiak’s “Behind the Curtain” Podcast interview with James Gardin on the Podbean Player below or you can subscribe to all “Behind the Curtain” Ministry Podcast episodes on iTunes. (Podcast listening tip: use the podcasts app on your smartphone and listen while driving, doing chores, or working out)


Noah Filipiak interviews James Gardin’s about overcoming rejection and persevering in the music industry.  About what it’s like to get a song on ESPN and how to handle the insecurities.  James explains what his message is as a Christian artist, and last but not least freestyles about Noah’s hometown of Oconomowoc!

Connect with James on social media:

On Facebook

On Twitter

On Instagram

Shop James’s music. Continue Reading…

I read Hebrews 2:14-18 yesterday.  Read it slowly, out loud, a few times:

Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants.  For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

I am a person who struggles mightily with depression and anxiety. It comes and goes and is subject to a diverse array of stimulus.  I also have a lot of good ways of coping with it, which are sometimes enough to feel better and sometimes aren’t.

Usually when we think of Jesus’s atonement, we think of him as the substitute for our sins. We deserve a penalty for our sins, hell, and Jesus took that hell upon himself on the cross so we wouldn’t have to take it on ourselves for all eternity.  Then when the Judge looks at us, we are declared innocent (righteous). Not because of what we’ve done, but because of what Jesus did on our behalf.

All of this is true, praise be to God! But something even deeper hit me yesterday. Continue Reading…

One of my uncles died last week. He was 67. My dad is also 67.

I turned 35 today. If you cut my years on this earth in half and went back in time, it would be the summer between my junior and senior year of high school.

Blink.

Now I’m 35.

If you double the years I’ve already spent on this earth, I’ll be 70.

Blink blink.

It’s been a reflective couple of weeks for me. It’s a reflective time when I start realizing my parents and their siblings are the generation of people who are dying. Like when I was in 3rd grade and my grandpa died. I was sad, but also gained a pragmatic understanding: that’s what old people do, they die. Continue Reading…

Too often in Christian circles it’s taught that if you have faith, pray and obey, God will take away your problems.  If you are worried, give those worries to God and he will solve them.  If you’re going through a challenging time, God will fix it.  Things typically don’t work out this cleanly in real life, often leaving people wondering what they did wrong, or why God abandoned them.  Thankfully the Bible tells a different story.  Continue Reading…

Ministry burnout; despair; discouragement.  This 3-headed monster and its ugly cousins usually come visit me when I ponder how much “bad” is out there in contrast to my ability to do anything about it.  The Bible commands me to do something about it, but that can’t mean I’m to live in debilitating despair, right?  Because as a competitor, it certainly feels like my team is losing.  These are easy topics to preach sermons on, but much more challenging to internalize at the core of our being.  The following four points have been given to me recently by people who have been on this road much longer than me and I hope they help you at the soul-level the way they have helped me:

1. Pray that God will raise up the Church

I’m not in this alone.  There is massive need out there.  Tons of people who don’t know Jesus.  And tons of people enduring incredible suffering.  Jesus didn’t say to his disciples, “Go and glean the entire harvest” in Matthew 9:37-38 and Luke 10:2, he said “Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field” (italics added).  God didn’t leave the world with me as its hope to bring it the good news of the Kingdom, he left it with his Church!  I’m not talking about apathetic laziness, waiting for others to do what I’m supposed to do.  I’m talking about realizing which is the better hope for my low-income neighborhood to find Jesus’s Kingdom:  me working 5x harder than I currently am, or me staying faithful in small ways and praying that God will either raise up 5 more Christians from within the neighborhood to help me and/or have them move in from outside.  Me thinking it’s my job to reach the whole city or praying that God will raise up dozens of churches to reach the whole city.  I can lose sleep over the sex trafficking industry, gang violence, drug use, global poverty and oppression as well as the many unreached countries of the world…or I can pray for them!  Praying that God will bring a revival to his Church, sending out many into the local harvest fields that are ripe for picking.

2. Remember the Holy Spirit is in charge of the Church and Jesus promises the gates of hell won’t prevail against it. 

I’m not in charge of the Church, the Holy Spirit is.  Pressure off.  Do you remember Pentecost?  Prior to this event, Jesus told his disciples not to do outreach (Luke 24:49; Acts 1:4) until the Holy Spirit came.  The gathering of believers wasn’t enough; the Holy Spirit was and still is needed.  What a relief to know that the Holy Spirit is not only guiding me, but that I’m a small part of a huge body and the Holy Spirit is guiding and empowering the entire thing.

3. Don’t let condemnation rule over you

Romans 8:1 is so clear and beautiful: there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  Again, easy to preach, hard to internalize.  What’s helpful to remember is whenever you are feeling inadequate, you know that message of condemnation is from Satan and you can reject it.  You are fully adequate based on what Jesus did for you on the cross (Colossians 1:22, et al).  Satan wants us to think our adequacy comes from producing results for God, so when we see the suffering or we see those who are lost, we feel like it’s our fault or we haven’t done enough (bringing despair, burnout, discouragement).

4. Don’t create a new “Law” to be enslaved to

This is closely related to #3.  Jesus went through a whole lot to free us from the power of the law (Galatians 2:21; Gal. 5:4).  The law enslaves.  You can never do enough under the law because you can always do better and be better than what you’ve done.  When you translate this to a zeal for ministry, there is always more ministry to be done!  More people to reach, more people to help.  Ministry can be a very subtle slave-master.  Under grace, we abide relationally in Jesus (John 15) and we stay faithful to him, one small day at a time, one small interaction at a time.  The point isn’t results, it’s faithfulness and abiding.  If we believe that this isn’t enough, we’ve believed the lie that Law will bring us life.  Reject this and cling to grace.  As you share the message of grace to the world, live in the grace that all that is needed has already been done on the cross.  Reject any message that what you already have in Jesus isn’t enough!