Archives For Marriage and Singleness

An article in the USA Today section of the Lansing State Journal caught my eye recently, “Sex before first date OK, but a cracked phone? Think again.”  The article breaks down some of the 2017 Singles in America survey, an annual survey funded by the dating service Match.  The most jaw-dropping takeaway from the survey is that 34% of singles have had sex before a first date.  This was followed up by a quote from Match’s chief scientific adviser Helen Fisher:

Sex before the first date could be a ‘sex interview,’ where they want to know if they want to spend time with this person.

And from Kimberly Resnick Anderson, a licensed clinical social worker and sex therapist:

We used to think of sex as you crossed the line now you are in an intimate zone, but now sex is almost a given and it’s not the intimate part.  The intimate part is getting to know someone and going on a date.

Let that sink in for a second.

It used to be that people were taught to save sex until marriage, now they aren’t even saving it until the first date! Continue Reading…

Our culture’s cloud of sexual living continues to get darker, denser and more and more expansive.  Everything is becoming normal and everyone is starting younger.

Sexual immorality is no respecter of persons.  This has little to do with homosexuality vs. heterosexuality or any of the many cultural wars going on in this arena today.  It’s so easy (and wrong) for Christians to point the finger at homosexuals or gay marriage as corrupting God’s design for sex when divorce, premarital sex and sexually explicit material in entertainment took care of this long ago.  We could care less that our favorite show on Netflix shows sex and nudity and conditions to long for this outside of wedlock, but we’ll get fired up about those gays!  Um, how about we each take a look in the mirror at how we have bought in to culture’s polluted view of sex, a pollution that has infiltrated every square inch of our society and has influenced each and every one of us.  If you’re not divorced, you haven’t had premarital sex, you’ve never lusted, you’ve never looked at pornography or read romance novels, you’ve never watched sexually explicit nude scenes in movies or TV, and you’ve never fantasized about being with someone other than your spouse, then I guess you’re allowed to start pointing fingers. Continue Reading…

My latest article on Covenant Eyes is up: Why Disney Relationships Are Just Like Porn. 

 

disney-relationships

 

Christians are to save sex until marriage and are to keep it there.  (Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 6:12-20)

And fantasizing about sex outside of marriage is the same heart condition as engaging in it.  (Matthew 5:27-28)

These sound like some pretty strict “thou shalt not’s!”  It’s very important that we understand why God gave us these commands, as it wasn’t just to ruin our fun.  In a nutshell, sex is potent and volatile.  Our world has duped us into believing it’s only about body parts and impulses, but we all know it involves much more intimacy and vulnerability than that.  Deception is played, hearts are broken and selfishness runs rampant.  Instead of looking at another person as a human being, we’ve been conditioned to see them as objects to be used for our consumption and then discarded.

This is a problem. Continue Reading…

The New York Post had a nude photo of Donald Trump’s wife Melania on its cover this week, with the title “Ogle Office.”  The photo was taken around 20 years ago, when Melania was 25 years old, in the thick of her modeling career and before she met Donald.  It was from a now defunct French men’s magazine, according to CNN.com.

Ivanka Trump, Donald Trump's daughter

Ivanka Trump, Donald Trump’s daughter

Ironically timed, there’s an article in today’s USA Today with Donald and son Eric’s thoughts on how (Donald’s daughter / Eric’s sister) 34-year-old Ivanka Trump would handle being sexually harassed.  Ivanka is a business woman and former model.  This was a response to a previous USA Today article where Donald says he thinks Ivanka should find a new job if she was being harassed in her workplace.  The articles, written by Mary Bowerman and Kirsten Powers respectively, both denounce Donald for insinuating it’s a woman’s fault if she’s sexually harassed.  Powers’ article sums up the feeling well in her last sentence:

All together now: Women don’t cause sexual harassment, harassers do.

Before I get in to my thoughts, let me say that I agree with Powers’ sentiment here.  As a pastor, I would re-frame it to say that a person (in this case the harasser) is responsible and accountable for their own sin.  No excuses.  Period. Continue Reading…