Archives For celibacy

There is a trend in our culture where if you are attracted to the same sex, attracted to both sexes, or identify as a different gender than your birth gender, the cultural tide tells you to go with how you feel, be yourself, and live into these feelings and attractions.

It can feel like there are only two paths: the cultural path of living by your feelings / orientation or the biblical path of living according to what the Bible says.  This dichotomy that’s been set up by the Church and by culture doesn’t give the whole picture though; it’s like we’re playing a game of chess with only a quarter of the board.

A primary breakdown in this dichotomy is that “the biblical path” is often seen by both culture and the Church as meaning “the straight path,” as in, if you’re straight, you’ve met the Bible’s standard.  Heterosexual sin within the Church is no big deal, while homosexual sin gets all of the attention.  This dichotomy also assumes that the solution for someone who is gay is for them to become straight, something that is usually not possible.

Is heterosexual sin spoken against in the Bible?  Yes.  Clearly and directly and repeatedly.  From lust, to adultery, to divorce, heterosexual sin is called out as direct rebellion against a holy God.

Why is Jesus so harsh against lust and divorce? (Matthew 5:27-32)  It’s because God created sex to be between a man and a woman in the context of marriage alone.  Does that line feel familiar to you?  It might remind you of debates that go on between culture and the Church (or between the Church and the Church) about homosexuality.  And it begins to reveal a few more of the missing squares on the chess board…

Those who are gay, lesbian and transgender get all of the spotlight when it comes to conforming to the Bible’s design for sex—not that they are asking for it, but as a heterosexual with tons of sexual disorientation issues, I have to say I’m a little jealous. Continue Reading…

Not everybody’s doing it.

In fact, out of 504 Christian singles surveyed, 3 out of 4 aren’t doing it.

In a culture that worships sex like it’s the Holy Grail, the Fountain of Youth and everlasting LSD all wrapped into one, it’s good for a Christian single person to know they aren’t going against the flow as much as media would like to make them feel when they set out to follow the Bible’s design for sex, reserving it for marriage.

Rather than being in the minority amongst Christian singles, those surveyed who have committed to saving sex for marriage are in the vast majority, with 77% (387 out of 504) saying so.

Of the remaining 23%, 19% of Christian singles say they believe that sex before marriage is a sin but are currently sexually active and/or don’t plan on waiting until marriage to have sex.  The remaining 4% do not believe it’s a sin.


These are reassuring stats for those who love the Church and love the Bible.  In today’s culture, it can often feel like everyone is throwing away what the Bible says in preference for whatever feels good or is seen as cool, popular or progressive.  We expect the world to act this way, but the real discouragement comes when it seems the foundation of the Church is following this trend, rather than staying true to God’s Word and will.

While the 23% of Christian singles who are having sex outside of marriage shows we still have work to do within the Church, the 77% who are holding strong to Scripture in one of the most difficult areas of life show that the biblical fire empowering the core of the Church of Jesus is still burning brightly, contrary to what it may feel like from the media headlines.

It’s good to see yet another example that the death of the Church has been greatly exaggerated.  Stay faithful to Jesus, Christian singles, your testimony is a shining light to many.


Read Post #1, “Demographics and Controls for Christian Singles Survey”

Read Post #2, “Research shows 45% of Christian singles feel outcast within the Church, 3% are LGBTQ”

In my recent post on both sides of the Arizona “Anti-Gay” Bill SB1062, I tried to lay out both sides of the bill: why it’s scary to have it and why what it was responding to (the Elaine Photography lawsuit in New Mexico) is equally scary.  I want to show that the Christian/Bible vs. LGBT/Gay Rights debate isn’t as black and white as it’s been made out to be.  What’s interesting is that the standard views on both sides of the debate can’t handle the notion that there is grey area here.  The idea of a middle ground, or a third stance, or an elevated conversation seems to shatter the one-sided, only-one-voice-allowed, stance from which each side makes their case and then vigorously launches their grenades from.  Here are some things to consider that I hope muddy up the waters for everyone, with the hope that in these muddy waters we might find an agreeable solution devoid of name-calling and abounding in civility and actual love from both sides of the fence: (Not that we’ll all agree–I’m not that delusional!  But something agreeable for our overall society and relationship together.)

  • Under what paradigm does a 100% Gay, 100% Celibate, 100% Bible-Believing Christian fit under?  Continue Reading…