Archives For eternity

One of my uncles died last week. He was 67. My dad is also 67.

I turned 35 today. If you cut my years on this earth in half and went back in time, it would be the summer between my junior and senior year of high school.

Blink.

Now I’m 35.

If you double the years I’ve already spent on this earth, I’ll be 70.

Blink blink.

It’s been a reflective couple of weeks for me. It’s a reflective time when I start realizing my parents and their siblings are the generation of people who are dying. Like when I was in 3rd grade and my grandpa died. I was sad, but also gained a pragmatic understanding: that’s what old people do, they die. Continue Reading…

I think the majority of our (my) vices, sins, and depths of depression come from the search for significance.  We are continually looking for things that will make us feel important and valuable.  My wife and I went to see a musical on Sunday at the Wharton Center and even though I don’t have a shred of musical ability in me, as I applauded the performers, a sense of jealousy came over me.  Why am I in the crowd clapping, rather than being on stage, being applauded?  I think the same types of thoughts when I watch baseball games.  Here I am sitting with tens of thousands of people in the stands, cheering like a child for players who are mostly younger than me now.  Wouldn’t it be something to be on the field, having all of those people cheer for me?  To have people approach me for my autograph and a photo?  I walk out of the Wharton Center with thousands of other people, jostling for position in the crowd as we head toward our cars, feeling a bit like a lemming…another insignificant person in the crowd…a stat…a consumer…no one seeking my autograph or excited to see me.

I think most of us want to be famous to some degree.  Want people to see us as something special.  I think that’s why Facebook appeals to us.  We can write things and immediately have other people “like” us and “like” the things we say.  We long to be liked and we seek it out, often in unhealthy ways.

Continue Reading…