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There is a trend in our culture where if you are attracted to the same sex, attracted to both sexes, or identify as a different gender than your birth gender, the cultural tide tells you to go with how you feel, be yourself, and live into these feelings and attractions.

It can feel like there are only two paths: the cultural path of living by your feelings / orientation or the biblical path of living according to what the Bible says.  This dichotomy that’s been set up by the Church and by culture doesn’t give the whole picture though; it’s like we’re playing a game of chess with only a quarter of the board.

A primary breakdown in this dichotomy is that “the biblical path” is often seen by both culture and the Church as meaning “the straight path,” as in, if you’re straight, you’ve met the Bible’s standard.  Heterosexual sin within the Church is no big deal, while homosexual sin gets all of the attention.  This dichotomy also assumes that the solution for someone who is gay is for them to become straight, something that is usually not possible.

Is heterosexual sin spoken against in the Bible?  Yes.  Clearly and directly and repeatedly.  From lust, to adultery, to divorce, heterosexual sin is called out as direct rebellion against a holy God.

Why is Jesus so harsh against lust and divorce? (Matthew 5:27-32)  It’s because God created sex to be between a man and a woman in the context of marriage alone.  Does that line feel familiar to you?  It might remind you of debates that go on between culture and the Church (or between the Church and the Church) about homosexuality.  And it begins to reveal a few more of the missing squares on the chess board…

Those who are gay, lesbian and transgender get all of the spotlight when it comes to conforming to the Bible’s design for sex—not that they are asking for it, but as a heterosexual with tons of sexual disorientation issues, I have to say I’m a little jealous. Continue Reading…

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase grace filled sexuality?  I know I have Jesus’s grace, so if I live sexually in a way that is different than God’s design/commands, I’m okay and I’ll be forgiven.

The Christian whose sexual desires differ from God’s design for sex often find themselves in quite a quandary.  God says sex is meant for a lifetime covenant of marriage between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20).  He goes on to say that fantasizing about sex outside of his design for marriage is as much a sin as the act itself (Matthew 5:27-28).  This is an extremely high standard to live up to, contrasting pretty much the entire gamut of sexual desire.  Whether we’re talking about those who look at pornography, are having premarital sex, are cheating on their spouse, are in homosexual relationships (including transgender transitions), are divorced and remarried, or those who lust, there are very few who live up to God’s holy standard for sexuality.

But we know that grace is offered to all who will receive it.

So then, how will we live?

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 4.33.10 PMThere’s a lot of valid talk nowadays about nature vs. nurture and about how a person is wired sexually.  Many have wrestled with the question, “Why did God make me this way?”  I’m heterosexual and married and I often ask God the same question!  While I don’t like to admit it, I am definitely wired to be attracted to multiple women.  It is the way I am wired.  I’ve battled it for many years, cried out to God for healing in it, and nothing has taken it away.  I promise I am not speaking facetiously here.  There’s nothing worse than wanting to be faithful to the wife you love and being constantly drawn like a magnet toward other women.  Random women.  Women you know.  Women you’ve never met.  It’s never ending and at times, is downright torture. Continue Reading…


Police investigate the back of the Pulse nightclub in Orlando on Sunday, June 12. At least 49 people were killed there by Omar Mateen, who was shot and killed by Orlando police. It was the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history. Photo credit: Phelan M. Ebenhack | AP

49 people were gunned down and killed in an Orlando gay bar early Sunday morning, with another 53 wounded.  You can read more about the gut-wrenching story here (CNN).  The Orlando Sentinel is compiling a page where you can read a short tribute about each of the victims.

There are lots of heavy elements to this story:  the shooter’s ISIS allegiance, a hate crime against the LGBT community, guns, an act of domestic terrorism, the pain the LGBT community is feeling, the pain the Latino community is feeling, and even the confusion some Evangelical Christians might feel about their (our) view that acts of homosexuality are sinful.

Well one of those heavy elements can be cleared up here and now:  there need be no confusion whatsoever about how Evangelical Christians are to react to the Orlando massacre.  Our reaction is to be an outpouring of love, mourning, prayer and solidarity.  Period.  Can we get over the fact that people are sinful and remember that people are people?  Every person on the planet is sinful, yours truly leading the charge.  The people in that nightclub were no more or less sinful than me or you.  While most don’t want to hear it, the same goes for the shooter.  Sin is sin and we all desperately need Jesus and thank God our (my) sexual sins don’t define us (me).  Sin doesn’t negate the fact that we are all image bearers of our Creator (Genesis 1:27).  We are all people who hold incredible dignity and value.  Every person in that nightclub who was gunned down was an image bearer of God and God mourns with those who mourn.  We are to do the same, Romans 12:14-18 makes this clear as day:

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.  Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

My emotions went from gut-wrenched to infuriated when I saw what was trending on Facebook Sunday afternoon: Westboro Baptist Church says “God Sent the Shooter,” celebrates the Orlando shooting.

For those unfamiliar with Westboro Baptist, they are a “church” made up of a handful of people in Topeka, Kansas, almost all of whom are related to one another.  They are most known for picketing at funerals and their “God Hates Fags” signs that they hold up seemingly everywhere.  If you follow their activities, their message is pretty much that “God Hates Everyone and Everything.”  Somehow this small family of rag tag hateful lunatics get more press coverage than the New York Yankees, and often as representatives of Christianity!  I really don’t want to write much more about them.

The only group of people it is difficult for me to apply Romans 12:14-18 to is Westboro and their ilk.  Not the LGBT community; not ISIS; Westboro.  They take my Jesus and prostitute him for their gain.  They lie about my Jesus.  They paint my Jesus as a fraud, and people then associate my Jesus with the fraud they’ve painted.

Pray for my heart that I will love Westboro and not repay their evil with evil of my own.

Let’s all come together and bless and not curse, mourn with those who mourn, live in harmony with one another, not be proud or conceited, not repay anyone evil for evil and as far as it depends on us, live at peace with everyone.

I don’t think I could have said it better myself.



Trending on Facebook this week is the #GiveElsaAGirlfriend hashtag, a campaign lobbying to give Disney’s Frozen star a female love interest in the upcoming sequel.  Idina Menzel, the actress who plays Elsa’s voice, made headlines when asked in an Entertainment Weekly interview about the campaign,

“I think it’s great,” she told ET on Sunday of the online campaign. “Disney’s just gotta contend with that. I’ll let them figure that out.”

While the quote was taken a little out of context (click to view the actual video below, you’ll be directed to Entertainment Tonight’s website), it was an answer expected of any Hollywood star with a live camera shoved in front of their face, and it certainly gave #GiveElsaAGirlfriend all the fuel needed to push their campaign more and more into the public spotlight.

Screen Shot 2016-05-24 at 1.19.38 PM

I have 2-year-old and 4-year-old daughters, both who love the Frozen movie (and yes, I have every word of every song memorized).  Almost every young girl in America loves the Frozen movie, and almost every girl’s favorite character is Elsa.

Here’s what I find so interesting about Elsa and the new #GiveElsaAGirlfriend campaign.  Elsa is single; she has no love interest in Frozen, yet she is still beloved by little girls everywhere.  A lack of a love interest didn’t slow Elsa down, nor did it slow down Frozen‘s huge box office rake.  The campaign to give Elsa a love interest at all speaks so loudly most don’t hear it because we’re already deaf.

What is so wrong with being single?

Or celibate? 

If someone isn’t interested in the opposite sex, why must it be campaigned by their friends and their society that they must find a same sex love interest in order to be whole and happy? Continue Reading…

What does the Bible say about homosexuality?

10 Blog Posts about Homosexuality & the Bible

I’ve posted a lot about homosexuality and the Bible over the years.  Here are the top 10:

Gay Christian? A sermon by Noah Filipiak and Jim Decke


Same Sex Attraction / Orientation is Not a Sin


3 Ways Christians View Homosexuality in the Bible


A Christian’s Guide to Gay Marriage


How Gay Celibate Bible-Believing Christians are breaking the mold of the LGBT vs. Christian debate


Helpful Words from a Gay Christian on Homosexuality and the Bible


3 Reasons I Didn’t Want to Be Gay by Jim Decke


Why a Gay Celibate Christian Keeps the Label of “Gay”


A Solution to the Kim Davis Debacle, and the Many More that Will Follow


Research shows 45% of Christian singles feel outcast within the Church, 3% are LGBTQ