Archives For kids looking at porn

Going through adolescence as a boy has never been easy, but in today’s day and age it’s more hazardous than ever.  And for parents, the nightmare is real.  No parent wants their son to be a future perpetrator on a #MeToo headline.  No parent wants their son to abuse women, or to objectify women, or to be in and out of relationships and marriages their whole life.

93.2% of boys and 62.1% of girls have seen online pornography before age 18.
(http://www.familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html).  You can read Covenant Eyes’s full statistics pack about porn here.  Here’s what I know anecdotally:

  • The male sex drive is very strong.
  • Kids are being given smartphones and tablets like they are candy.  With full access to any porn they want, or that they accidentally stumble on.
  • When I was in middle school and high school, it was normal for guys to talk about porn in open conversations, even with girls around.
  • People started having in sex in 7th and 8th grade.  It became commonplace by high school.
  • I estimate that many of the attractive, popular guys from my high school have probably had sex with 50+ women by the time they turn 30 (and that’s probably low for some), when they finally marry and “settle down”.  These aren’t “creepy” guys.  These are the guys women see as attractive, fun, desirable, and successful.
  • Movies and shows jam-packed with sex and nudity like Game of Thrones are the most popular entertainment options in our culture.  Expect this trend to continue to the point where there is no more envelope left to be pushed and no more line between what culture calls “porn” and public entertainment.

What feels so defeating Continue Reading…

covenantEyes_logo_sexual purity I recently met with a friend of mine who is a new Christian. He’s in his mid 20’s and has a pretty incredible testimony—giving his life to Christ after an upbringing of abuse, drugs, crime and promiscuity. I asked him what areas of his life he still needed to surrender to Christ and his answer was quick and emphatic: pornography on his phone.

My answer was also quick and emphatic: Covenant Eyes.

For some it’s amazing that someone could surrender drugs and crime and even premarital sex to Jesus, but be unable to surrender pornography. As if pornography were the least of all of those evils and thus the easiest to give up. Not that sins are in competition with one another for which one is “worst,” but there is no doubt that pornography is an addiction and is (in my opinion and experience) almost impossible to give up cold turkey, without any outside assistance and accountability.

My friend went on to tell me how he’d go to bed at night, would pray every night, but then wouldn’t be able to fall asleep so would grab his iPhone and before he knew it was pouring over pornography again, only to feel dirty and disgusting afterward. In addition to the chemical changes pornography does to our brains, the reason it’s so hard to give up is because it is both ridiculously accessible and ridiculously accepted in our culture.

My friend is not the only 20-something who puts himself to sleep every night by looking at porn on his phone. In fact, it’s getting to the point in secular culture where this is seen as normal behavior, especially for single men.

If you have naively handed out smartphones to your children without Covenant Eyes installed on them, it’s only a matter of time before their web activities lead them to the alluring and addictive land of pornography.

Is there more to being free from pornography than online purity software? Yes. You need the Church, you need community, and you need biblical guidance to change the wiring of your heart (which Covenant Eyes provides an abundance of free resources on via their blog and e-books). But it’s very hard to put a fire out while a gasoline can is being consistently poured on it. The access to pornography must be stopped before the deeper work can be done.

The beauty of Covenant Eyes is that you can choose to use it as a filter that blocks websites, as monitoring software that sends emails to accountability partners, or as a combination of the two. You also only pay one affordable monthly rate and can then put the software on unlimited online devices (phone, tablet, computers, etc.). Contrast this with a different online purity software I used before Covenant Eyes where I had to pay $40 per month for each device. Covenant Eyes is a deal and a half in comparison.

As I told my friend, you can use my affiliate link and get your first month of Covenant Eyes free. It’s an investment well worth the cost. In all reality, the cost of not using Covenant Eyes and continuing to allow the sewage of pornography into your life is what you really can’t afford.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I just read this short Today.com article which shows that kids are looking at porn at young ages.  What struck me about this story is that this is still such a newsflash to so many parents.  Parents give their kids smartphones, tablets, and laptops in their locked rooms and somehow don’t think that their kids are either accidentally stumbling upon, or very intentionally seeking out both soft and hardcore porn.

The Today article quotes the American Psychological Association as saying, “Although research is scarce, investigators see links between young people who access Web porn and unhealthy attitudes toward sex.”  As a recovered porn addict myself, as well as one who has counseled many Christian men who seek to break free from this addiction, I give the APA a gigantic “DUH!”  A portion of my book is dedicated to talking about these exact “unhealthy attitudes”, what we can do to reverse them, and be reprogrammed to how we were designed to think about sex.

What gets me riled up about this APA quote is Continue Reading…