Archives For sexual purity

My latest post is up on the Covenant Eyes blog: #MeToo and the Deep Cultural Concerns it Highlights.

#metoo

Posts like this are hard to write.  Hard because they are humbling.

I started reading through the #metoo posts on Twitter, at the request of some women in my church.  It’s hard to organize my thoughts so I’m just going to put them out there:

I was wrong.  I do a lot of work around racial reconciliation and talk and preach a lot about racial inequality and the oppression of people of color in America.  When women would talk to me about the oppression women face, and how it should be included in the conversation of oppression, I’ve always resisted.  With race I say, “How can a white person tell you what it’s like to be a person of color in America?”  They obviously can’t, but they try to over and over again (while not listening to people of color’s experiences).  Meanwhile the same applies here, “How can a man tell you what it’s like to be a woman?”  We can’t.  I can’t.  But that’s where I’ve been living.

The response of some men to #metoo is sickening and sad.  The men who are mocking the #metoo movement are sickening to me.  It’s also sad to me the men who feel defensive over this.  How can you feel defensive over this???  Yes, men and boys are sexually abused as well, that’s not the point of the #metoo posts from women.  It’s not a contest!  It’s about giving a voice to a demographic that has been shut up for ages.  Men have never been shut up.  While yes, the male victims of sexual abuse need to share their stories, and those stories are welcome, this is much bigger than that.  It’s about an entire gender that’s been silenced in almost every area of society; the sexual abuse is the tip of the iceberg to the feelings of inferiority women are carrying around with them.  Whether it’s in racial injustice or in these conversations about gender injustice, I will always struggle to understand the response of the white male who feels like they’re being attacked when these important oppressed voices speak up, and then use that feeling to miss the whole point.  This isn’t about you, it’s about the person that’s been oppressed by our society.  Yes, a society that benefited you (and me) at their expense.  But don’t make it about you by feeling attacked or defensive.  And if you’ve been a part of the problem, own it.  Stop acting like you’re innocent of everything; none of us are.  Own up to your part.  Continuing in obstinate pride isn’t going to help anything or change anything.  Why not be a part of the solution? Continue Reading…

For years, I’ve made a personal policy to not watch any TV shows or movies that contain graphic sex or nudity.  Because of this choice to be pure in my thought life, I have missed out on some good shows!  Has it been worth it?  Of course it has.  But wouldn’t it be nice to eat fresh donuts that have the nutrition contents of fresh broccoli?  Well now, that is possible!  No, not the donuts unfortunately, but follow the concept.

VidAngel is an incredible program.   Continue Reading…

My latest article is up on the Covenant Eyes blog:  When it Feels Like You’ve Been Irreparably Damaged by Porn 

This is the landing page for my upcoming book Beyond the Battle: A man’s guide to his identity in Christ in an oversexualized world.  The book will be available in December 2017, exact date TBD.  Books will sell on Amazon for $14.99 each or you can purchase in bulk from this page you are currently on (atacrossroads.net/beyond-the-battle).  The bulk prices will be 10 books for $100 ($10/each) or 30 books for $225 ($7.50 each) (shipping price will be added, or you can pick up from Lansing, MI).  The book will have its greatest impact when men read it along with other men.

Check out the free 6-week men’s small group video curriculum here. 

I’ll post updates on details here as they unfold.  You can also subscribe to my Author Newsletter (below) to get details emailed to your inbox along with ways you can help with the book launch and forthcoming details on Beyond the Battle‘s parallel book for women, More than a Princess. 

I’d also love to come and speak at your church or special event (no fee), please contact me to make those arrangements.

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Back cover text:

What if the battle you’re fighting has already been won?

 

As men fight for contentment in their marriages or their singleness, our oversexualized world continues to pump out false promises.  What if the answer to your heart’s longing is not to try harder or fight more intensely?  What if there’s actually more to the battle than accountability, online filters, and training away the symptoms of the problem (as important as those tools are)?

 

The good news is that there really is more to this battle, and victory depends not on your ability to fight, but on your ability to rest.  It’s not about working hard to avoid lust, it’s about God working in you to remove (and replace) your desire for it.

 

Beyond the Battle dives below the surface to uncover soul-deep solutions.  You will discover that everything you hoped the next woman would give you is already freely yours in Jesus.  This identity in Christ will satisfy you to the core, allowing you to see yourself and women the way God intended all along.