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Beyond the Battle: A man’s guide to his identity in Christ in an oversexualized world will be available in Fall 2017, stay tuned for book launch updates by signing up for my author newsletter:

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  Small group video instructions:

  1. Play the video with your men’s small group at the beginning of your group time
  2. Go through the group discussion questions found in Appendix A of Beyond the Battle.  There will be questions about the video and separate questions about the correlating chapters in the book.
  3. The videos divide the book into 6 different small group readings and discussions.  The design is to have a 6-week men’s small group to cover all the material, though you may find it beneficial to have a 12 week small group, committing two meetings to cover each video and question set.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For those who have been following my publishing journey, you may have been wondering when, if ever, my book was actually going to get published.  I got an agent back in Fall 2015 and I thought it’d be a pretty quick process from there.  Little did I know what the future held…

After interviewing a lot of authors on my podcast who have struggled with the ups and downs of the publishing industry, I now have firsthand knowledge.  The #1 reason I am indie-publishing (besides the fact that it has taken forever to try to get a big publisher) is because of the damage the process has done to my soul.  The way Christian publishing works nowadays is you need a “platform” in order to get published.  For some authors, their platform exists in the books they published before the “platform” / social media era took over.  For others, being the head of a large organization or pastoring a megachurch is the platform.  For someone trying to get his first book published and who does not pastor a megachurch, my platform lies in how many people read my blog, my podcast listens, follow me on Twitter, etc.  In essence, my statistics prove if I am worthwhile to a publisher or not.  Continue Reading…

Our culture’s cloud of sexual living continues to get darker, denser and more and more expansive.  Everything is becoming normal and everyone is starting younger.

Sexual immorality is no respecter of persons.  This has little to do with homosexuality vs. heterosexuality or any of the many cultural wars going on in this arena today.  It’s so easy (and wrong) for Christians to point the finger at homosexuals or gay marriage as corrupting God’s design for sex when divorce, premarital sex and sexually explicit material in entertainment took care of this long ago.  We could care less that our favorite show on Netflix shows sex and nudity and conditions to long for this outside of wedlock, but we’ll get fired up about those gays!  Um, how about we each take a look in the mirror at how we have bought in to culture’s polluted view of sex, a pollution that has infiltrated every square inch of our society and has influenced each and every one of us.  If you’re not divorced, you haven’t had premarital sex, you’ve never lusted, you’ve never looked at pornography or read romance novels, you’ve never watched sexually explicit nude scenes in movies or TV, and you’ve never fantasized about being with someone other than your spouse, then I guess you’re allowed to start pointing fingers. Continue Reading…

My next article is up on Covenant Eyes’ blog, check it out:

Myth Busters: “I’ll stop looking at porn when I get married”

(Please share the Covenant Eyes link, not the atacrossroads.net one, thanks!)

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What comes to mind when you hear the phrase grace filled sexuality?  I know I have Jesus’s grace, so if I live sexually in a way that is different than God’s design/commands, I’m okay and I’ll be forgiven.

The Christian whose sexual desires differ from God’s design for sex often find themselves in quite a quandary.  God says sex is meant for a lifetime covenant of marriage between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20).  He goes on to say that fantasizing about sex outside of his design for marriage is as much a sin as the act itself (Matthew 5:27-28).  This is an extremely high standard to live up to, contrasting pretty much the entire gamut of sexual desire.  Whether we’re talking about those who look at pornography, are having premarital sex, are cheating on their spouse, are in homosexual relationships (including transgender transitions), are divorced and remarried, or those who lust, there are very few who live up to God’s holy standard for sexuality.

But we know that grace is offered to all who will receive it.

So then, how will we live?

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 4.33.10 PMThere’s a lot of valid talk nowadays about nature vs. nurture and about how a person is wired sexually.  Many have wrestled with the question, “Why did God make me this way?”  I’m heterosexual and married and I often ask God the same question!  While I don’t like to admit it, I am definitely wired to be attracted to multiple women.  It is the way I am wired.  I’ve battled it for many years, cried out to God for healing in it, and nothing has taken it away.  I promise I am not speaking facetiously here.  There’s nothing worse than wanting to be faithful to the wife you love and being constantly drawn like a magnet toward other women.  Random women.  Women you know.  Women you’ve never met.  It’s never ending and at times, is downright torture. Continue Reading…