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There is a trend in our culture where if you are attracted to the same sex, attracted to both sexes, or identify as a different gender than your birth gender, the cultural tide tells you to go with how you feel, be yourself, and live into these feelings and attractions.

It can feel like there are only two paths: the cultural path of living by your feelings / orientation or the biblical path of living according to what the Bible says.  This dichotomy that’s been set up by the Church and by culture doesn’t give the whole picture though; it’s like we’re playing a game of chess with only a quarter of the board.

A primary breakdown in this dichotomy is that “the biblical path” is often seen by both culture and the Church as meaning “the straight path,” as in, if you’re straight, you’ve met the Bible’s standard.  Heterosexual sin within the Church is no big deal, while homosexual sin gets all of the attention.  This dichotomy also assumes that the solution for someone who is gay is for them to become straight, something that is usually not possible.

Is heterosexual sin spoken against in the Bible?  Yes.  Clearly and directly and repeatedly.  From lust, to adultery, to divorce, heterosexual sin is called out as direct rebellion against a holy God.

Why is Jesus so harsh against lust and divorce? (Matthew 5:27-32)  It’s because God created sex to be between a man and a woman in the context of marriage alone.  Does that line feel familiar to you?  It might remind you of debates that go on between culture and the Church (or between the Church and the Church) about homosexuality.  And it begins to reveal a few more of the missing squares on the chess board…

Those who are gay, lesbian and transgender get all of the spotlight when it comes to conforming to the Bible’s design for sex—not that they are asking for it, but as a heterosexual with tons of sexual disorientation issues, I have to say I’m a little jealous. Continue Reading…

Simply saying that being transgender or transitioning genders is wrong is a 2 cent answer to a million (billion) dollar question.

Like many issues, a person who has no personal experience with the struggle should not go around making cavalier, black and white statements about those who do.  This doesn’t mean the Bible doesn’t apply, but it’s hypocritical and judgmental to conclude that your experience with a specific struggle is the same as someone else’s and thus, their response to it should come as simply and easily as yours does.

It is incorrect and unhelpful to assume that a transgender person has chosen to feel the way they do about their gender identity or that they can simply choose to identify in line with their biological body parts.

I was recently talking to a Christian parent whose child transitioned genders.  Their child was developing bad body odor and they couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t take showers.  Their child explained to them that they were so disturbed with seeing their own genitalia, feeling so much that it didn’t belong there, that they would rather smell bad than have to see this and be reminded of it.

If you are a man, imagine you step in the shower tomorrow morning and see you have breasts and a vagina.

If you are a woman, imagine stepping in the shower tomorrow morning and seeing you have a penis.

(And then being mocked, bullied and shamed for it)

That’s a small taste of how it feels to be transgender.  Continue Reading…

I wrote an article for Plough.com entitled “Teaching Men to be Men in a Gender-Fluid Culture.”  It has to do with the epidemic of fatherlessness and how we need to step up to fill this void.  You can read the article on Plough’s website here. 

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase grace filled sexuality?  I know I have Jesus’s grace, so if I live sexually in a way that is different than God’s design/commands, I’m okay and I’ll be forgiven.

The Christian whose sexual desires differ from God’s design for sex often find themselves in quite a quandary.  God says sex is meant for a lifetime covenant of marriage between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:24, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20).  He goes on to say that fantasizing about sex outside of his design for marriage is as much a sin as the act itself (Matthew 5:27-28).  This is an extremely high standard to live up to, contrasting pretty much the entire gamut of sexual desire.  Whether we’re talking about those who look at pornography, are having premarital sex, are cheating on their spouse, are in homosexual relationships (including transgender transitions), are divorced and remarried, or those who lust, there are very few who live up to God’s holy standard for sexuality.

But we know that grace is offered to all who will receive it.

So then, how will we live?

Screen Shot 2016-06-24 at 4.33.10 PMThere’s a lot of valid talk nowadays about nature vs. nurture and about how a person is wired sexually.  Many have wrestled with the question, “Why did God make me this way?”  I’m heterosexual and married and I often ask God the same question!  While I don’t like to admit it, I am definitely wired to be attracted to multiple women.  It is the way I am wired.  I’ve battled it for many years, cried out to God for healing in it, and nothing has taken it away.  I promise I am not speaking facetiously here.  There’s nothing worse than wanting to be faithful to the wife you love and being constantly drawn like a magnet toward other women.  Random women.  Women you know.  Women you’ve never met.  It’s never ending and at times, is downright torture. Continue Reading…